What ever happened to Gargoyles? Maybe they're in the Salton Sea

This is sort of a continuation of the previous blog. I was planning on writing this sometime in the future,but on the recomendation of my only follower, I moved it up. I figure if she's the only one reading, I'll write what she wants to read.


What happened to the cartoons of our youth? Okay so the eighties weren't great. Mostly homo-erotic cartoons about naked men wrestling each other (He man, Thundercats, etc.). Or Giant fighting robots that turned into things, or American soldiers fighting evil supervillains. But they had plotlines, and let to some really interesting cartoons in the 90's.


My favorite of these cartoons is probably Batman the Animated series. It had complex story lines. It dealt with organized crime, drugs, gun violence, in an entertaining way that despite the subject matter, didn't talk down to kids. People died, very realistically I might add, in gang violence. On Saturday mornings. But that's life. People die and kids need to know that if you shoot someone they generally don't get up. Now they can't even show guns in cartoons. It's weird. And I understand that it's just entertainment but theres no reason that there can't be a little realism. Why should every cartoon have people shooting lasers at each other with no real consequences to their actions? One of the best villains of the series is Ras Al Ghul, a middle eastern eco terrorist. I didn't even know what that term meant until I watched that series. I just miss having a good batman cartoon on tv.
Superman was ok, but the two series led to Justice League, which I still think is amazing. Sounds gay but it was definitely a cartoon that was made for the adult nerd more than kids.


And Gargoyles. That show invovled a lot of Shakespearan characters, teaching kids not only about right and wrong, good and evil, but classic literature as well. It was gritty, and complex. dealing with everything from fantasy and science, to religion and redemption. I can still remember the first time I saw it as a kid thinking I'd never seen anything like it. I still think it would make a great live action movie if anyone ever gets the balls to make it.

What do kids have today. Dora the Explorer? garbage. Diego? garbage. These shows claim to be educational but I've watched them with my friends kid, and I fail to see how he learns anything from those shows. Why not give kids a show that is a little more complex? One that they might not quite understand, but will want to figure out?

Even the new versions of the cartoons we all loved pale in comparison to the old ones. Theres a new ninja turtles, which essentially just follows the japanese model of a loose plot with flashy colors and fast paced action scenes. And the new Transformers is just an Anime knockoff. The Batman is just a crime fighting show for dummies. The rest of Saturday morning is filled with cartoons made for the sole purpose of selling card games. Try watching them sometime. All they are is instructions for how to play. It's awful.

As I said in the previous blog about the simpsons, I just feel like mainstream entertainment in general is just getting stupider. But we all watch stupid shows because what else are we going to do with the hours we used to spend hunting and gathering? AAAAAnd done being overdramatic. I just miss good cartoons. Can you blame me?

On to a review...





The Salton Sea(2002)
starring Val Kilmer

One of my favorite movies of all time. And that's saying a lot. I grew up enjoying old detective stories. The problem with most of the new Detective flicks is that they try way too hard to be noir, failing to realize that you shouldn't have to try. It should be subtle, not using rediculous dialogue, and internal monologue to beat you in the face with noir (Brick is a good example of that. terrible).
This movie is the exact opposite. It has the feeling of an old Detective story without being in your face.
It starts out with Val Kilmer as junkie Danny Parker, hanging out with speed freaks, and informing on other junkies to two narcotics detectives. He lives in a dump, and seems to have a life that's going nowhere. But like any good mystery nothing is as it seems.
The story goes back and forth through flashbacks to reveal the mystery of what happened at the Salton sea, and how Danny got to where he is. Tragedy landed him playing the part of a junkie, but he's there for a reason. Everything he does he does ultimately for justice.
He plays both sides of the law to solve the crime that has taken over his life. He's never who he appears to be, and you quickly find out that he's always in control. I can't say much about the plot without giving it away. Half the fun of the movie is the surprise of finding out whats really going on.
There are some great performances in The Salton Sea, including Vincent D'Onofrio as Pooh bear, a drug dealer who's put so much meth up his nose that he no longer has one, a rediculous plastic one taking its place. He's a ruthless criminal, but he has some pretty funny scenes.
Then there's Peter Sarsgaard (who you might remember from Garden State) playing Jimmy, a fellow junkie and Danny Parker's only real friend. He's one of those characters that you can't help but feel sorry for. Danny's playing everyone through the whole movie but Jimmy is a sweet genuine kid who would do anything for his friend and just got mixed up in the wrong scene. One of the best exchanges between the two is when he shows Danny that in honor of their friendship he got a tattoo of his face on his arm. He didn't have a picture of Kilmer's character so he described him to the tattoo artist from memory.
It's funny, it's sad, its entertaining and engrossing. And I know a certain someone doesn't like sad stories, so to you, I'll say it all works out in the end. It's in my top five of the last twenty years. watch it.

Time for bed. Thanks for reading.

~Quantum

Why the Simpsons suck, and Street Fight. Not Street Fighter. sorry Zangeif fans.

The Simpsons. There was a time when it was funny, and smart. This is not that time. I remember when I was a kid and the Simpsons made me laugh. There were jokes I didn't understand, and it made me want to research things. Pop culture jokes and history jokes that were fun for the adults, while still having dumb jokes for the kids. It was a cartoon version of a real family, and not the other way around. Homer would do something stupid, Marge would nag, Bart would screw up. But hidden in there was always a lesson. a moral to the story. On the off chance that they had a guest star you wouldnt know it, because they weren't playing themselves. There are exceptions to this, but for the most part stars would come on, play a character, and leave without needing to feed their ego by playing themselves. One of my favorite episodes is Titled "Lisa's substitute. Lisa falls for her substitute teacher played by Dustin Hoffman when Miss Hoover went on leave, thinking she'd contracted Lyme disease. As opposed to now. when every single episode is "what crazy adventure will the simpsons go on?" or "what crazy guest star will the simpsons meet?".
I remember trying to watch the Simpsons about six years ago, because my friends kept telling me "It's just as good as it used to be, it's just different." For some reason Tony Hawk was in it, as himself, and he introduced himself as "Skateboarding superstar Tony Hawk." It wasn't ironic, or funny, it was just stupid. Pretty sure blink 182 or some other band in their 40s who plays for tweens was in that episode too. they all blend together.
The biggest problem I have with it is that this is the simpsons that anyone under the age of 20 knows as THE Simpsons. They cant remember that once it was a smart funny show because they were too young. I'll save the rant about how all media is going that way for another time, but it really is all a symptom of the dumbing down of America.
It had a magic that most series never reach, and that I really don't think it will have again. The movie was slightly entertaining, but to everyone who thinks it's as good as the old simpsons, it's not. That's like comparing the original Starwars to Episode 1. Gross. Another rant I'll save for later. I find myself wondering if Matt Groening feels shame over what his creation has become every time he gets a check. I'm sure it's a passing thought while he's sitting in his mansion eating caviar. But I digress. I'll sum it up in a few words by simply saying, The Simpsons no longer has a heart...

On to better things

Street Fight (2005)
Starring Corey Booker and Sharpe James
Directed by Marshall Curry

I'll start by saying I'm a huge Documentary nerd. When I have free time to watch a movie, my vote is always for a documentary. The drama of real life generally is just a lot more interesting than anything that can be thought up. This movie is easily in my top five.
Corey Booker is a young democrat trying to challenge Sharpe James for the position of Mayor in Newark, a largely African American city in New Jersey. It's an uphill battle as James has been mayor for over 20 years, and the people seem to love him. As the story unfolds, you come to realize that there's more fear than love. Fear of the unknown mostly. Everyone seems to know that Sharpe is a theif, liar and thug, but he's the devil you know.
A lot of the movie ends up being racial politics, as Booker is an educated light skinned black man, who really seems to care about the people and the poverty of Newark. James uses this to attack him. sending out literature calling him white, or jewish, or just using his education to claim that he knows nothing of the struggle the people of the city face. Never bringing up that his parents were part of the civil rights movement and fought so there son wouldnt have to struggle. Meanwhile James, who in his defense did grow up in poverty, has lived in a mansion for years, and used taxpayer money to his own benefit over and over again. James is most definitely the villain, but even so steals the show, turning every negative into a possitive for his own campaign.
You see Booker struggle with smear campaigns, but Sharpe James doesn't have that problem. he will lie, steal, and even use city resources to make sure he keeps his position as mayor, at one point using the police to intimidate store owners with Booker signs in their windows, to tear down signs put up in public places, and attack camera men who get too close to the mayor.

I'd say this movie is a must see, and I won't give away the ending, but if you're into politics you'll know that Sharpe James faced several Federal charges, and this movie was part of the reason.

If you have netflix Street Fight is on instant watch, if not I'd suggest you track it down. definitely worth the time.

~Quantum

It's what you like, not what you ARE like; and please, don't piss off Chopper

Movies that are garbage. I'm going to skip past the obvious, because there are entire genres that really don't lend themselves to greatness, and go straight to the ones that I know friends of mine enjoy.

Gangs of New York- Garbage. It was a musical without the music. rediculous sets. rediculous costumes. rediculous acting. everyone likes to pretend it was a good movie because Daniel Day-Lewis delivered a great performance. I admit that it was, but it was a great performance in a shitty movie. Cameron Diaz could never decide if she was supposed to have an accent. Neither could Leo for that matter. I left the theater thinking "Scorsese made this steaming pile?". But apparently I was the only one. One of my film school buddies tried to tell me how groundbreaking it was. My reply? "Wait five years. see if anyone is still talking about it." I think I made my point.

Across the Universe- Garbage. I'm not generally a fan of musicals, but I'm always willing to admit when they deliver and I just don't get it. This is not one of those movies. "oh, the characters names correspond with beatles songs so they can use them in the movie". Wow. so clever. I enjoy some beatles music, but hearing shitty versions sung by actors doesn't really do it for me. It tried way to hard to make the plot relevant, and failed miserably. It was a movie that had been made a million times, and better, without shitty music. It was a loose plot built around a bunch of songs covered by people nobody cares about. If you need a musical fix, rent The Producers instead.

Boondock Saints- Garbage. I get a lot of flack for this one. I remember one of my friends telling me that it was her favorite movie of all time when the Special Edition came out on dvd, and I was excited to see it. It was way oversold and definitely came nowhere near delivering. Where to start? Willem Defoe. I love the guy in the right role. But he was rediculous. I know you're supposed to suspend disbelief, but this was a movie about two guys murdering thugs, and Defoes character just pranced around being outlandishly flamboyantly gay. It wasn't funny, it was just uncomfortable, and I would think to some, insulting. Every time he was onscreen it just made me want to turn the movie off. Then theres the small role played by Ron Jeremy. All of my friends had boners over the fact that he was in the movie. So having a terrible actor who is a troll and former porn star is a good thing? The whole thing felt like a movie by someone with very little talent who had an idea without the ability to make it interesting. I love revenge flicks, and movies about people taking the law into their own hands, but they have to be written well. Boondock just doesn't do it. My friends love it and I'll never understand why.

Ok. I'm done complaining.....


Chopper (2000)
Starring Eric Bana
Directed by Andrew Dominik

What can I say about chopper read? Don't piss him off. At the begining of the movie Mark Brandon "Chopper" Read has spent most of his adult life in an Australian prison. He's the kind of guy who will stab you ten times in the face, back off and appologize, and then get pissed off when you won't forgive him. And according to the real Chopper, that's something he's done. He doesn't care who you are, friend or foe, if you have something he wants, he'll take it. He's a charming guy who plays all sides, and while a lot of his tales have been proven you can never tell where the reality ends and the fantasy begins. He's a murderer, a theif, and a thug. And if you're like me you'll be glued to the tv trying to figure out what crazy thing he'll do next. But he's unpredictable. He's by no means a hero but for some reason I ended up routing for him. He loves the spotlight, and while in prison Hams it up for TV interviews, becoming somewhat of a cult hero. After his release he uses his fame to write a series of crime novels. Eric Bana delivers a great performance, and I've read that the real Chopper actually requested him for the role when he was a relative unknown, because they actually look a lot alike. He had the character down, from the lumbering walk to the deceptively polite voice. This is one of the better movies I've seen in a while and it's one of those movies that flew beneath the american radar. Check it out. You won't be sorry.

On that note, I'm out. Happy New Years Everyone

~Quantum